Scene XVl

EXT. POOL ROOM - NIGHT

Roxanne and Mick park on the side of pool room and start
walking toward it. The sign above the door reads "North
Shore Billiard Academy, The Home of Champions." Roxanne and
Mick momentarily stare up in awe at the sign above the
legendary room, and pause, hesitantly, before they enter.

ROXANNE
So this is North Shore Billiards?
This is where you got turned out,
Freddy?

FREDDY
Yes, ma'am. This is where the
little mullets swim in to get eaten
by the sharks. You need a hustler
union card to operate in here.
Don’t worry though, I'm the
president of this union.

Freddy waves at Roxanne and Mick, urging them into a quick
huddle.

FREDDY
Okay, so here’s the deal. Like
most hustles, you got about five
minutes to prepare, but with you,
our born actress, this should be no
trouble.

Roxanne and Mick laugh.

FREDDY
We're about to "Lemon Hustle" one
of the Great Men of all time. He’s
taken more abuse than the Three
Stooges. This ain’t the way I
normally make money -- with a con
hustle. But I always make an
exception for this guy, because
he’s "mobbed up." He’s an "Outfit"
bookmaker. I love doing it to him.
So, are you ready, Roxanne?

ROXANNE
Yes.

FREDDY
My student! You’ve far exceeded my
expectations. Now get your cool
on. After I score here I’m heading
down to Florida for awhile.

ROXANNE
Florida?

FREDDY
Yeah, I got a girl down there.

ROXANNE
(slightly taken aback)
You got a girl?

Roxanne recovers.

ROXANNE
She cooks?

FREDDY
Hell, yes!

INT. POOLROOM - NIGHT

A large, old-fashioned poolroom with many tables.

FREDDY
(to Bugs)
He here yet?

Bugs shakes Freddy’s hand, shakes his head, "no" and blows a
bubble. Roxanne walks around the pool room with Freddy
getting introduced to everybody.

FREDDY
(to Roxanne)
Nice look about your fille. Looks
like he came out of the funny
papers.

Mick is smiling.

FREDDY
Like Clark Kent.

ROXANNE
Pool’s Superman.

FREDDY
I'm happy for you, kid. You’ll go
far with him if he’s got half the
game Jesse told me he has. I don’t
expect he’s....

ROXANNE
No, goyim all the way. He’s the
one though...

FREDDY
Oh, Jesus. Be careful, you might
have to learn how to cook and clean
house...

ROXANNE
Not if I can help it.

FREDDY
(whispering)
Here comes Boston Stubby. Ain’t he
beautiful?
(sternly)
Don’t argue, and do what I do.

Enter BOSTON STUBBY, a balding, bespectacled middle-aged man,
no taller than five-foot two inches.

FREDDY
(loudly)
Look who’s here! The man of the
hour. How you doing, boy?

Freddy slaps Stubby on the back. Stubby doesn’t answer.
Freddy starts a animated, phony sign language. He introduces
Roxanne, who follows Freddy’s lead and replies in her own
version of phony sign language.

Games are being played while Freddy brags to Roxanne.

FREDDY
This is gonna be my greatest
hustle. We’re trapping this mark
with Stubby. I flew him in.
Stubby’s a top player, but few
people know what he looks like,
‘cause he never leaves Boston.

Freddy’s eyes light up and he rubs his hands together in
anxious anticipation.

FREDDY
I can’t let Stubby talk, ‘cause
once he opens his mouth, his Boston
accent will tip the guy off. He’s
paranoid already ‘cause plenty of
champions have been sent in to rob
him. He’s a pretty good player
himself. Except for a few guys
like Stubby, he knows all the
people that can beat him. That’s
why I came up with this scam to
pass Stubby off as a deaf mute.

Stubby begins playing THE MARK (a sucker). All exchanges
between Freddy and Stubby are done in sign language.

POOLROOM BATHROOM

The other hustlers in the room all have a sudden need to go
to the bathroom at the same time.

The bathroom is filled with guys "in the know," falling all
over the place laughing.

BACK INSIDE POOLROOM

-- Stubby is beating up on The Mark.
-- Stubby cuts a comical figure. As he stands waiting for
his shot, holding his cue stick, the stick is taller than
he is.
-- Stubby is conversing in sign language with Freddy, and
makes an obscene finger gesture toward the mark.

THE MARK
(howling)
I seen that! I seen that! You
little cock-sucker! I don’t need
to know sign language to know what
that means!

The Mark barks at Freddy.

THE MARK
You tell him I don’t let nobody
curse at me in any kind of
language! I’ll stuff the little
shrimp in a spittoon!

Roxanne covers her face with her hand, but her torso is
vibrating with suppressed laughter

BACK INSIDE BATHROOM

The bathroom is almost entirely full of hustlers rolling in
laughter.

BACK TO THE GAME

The Mark is looking over the table and he absentmindedly
remarks to Stubby...

THE MARK
I know. I’m taking a long time,
but do you want to try shooting
this shot?

BOSTON STUBBY
(in a thick Boston Southie
accent)
Naw, you gah ahead and shoot it
yahself.

Stubby puts his hand over his mouth.

BOSTON STUBBY
Oops!

The Mark opens and closes his eyes, looks up and starts
talking to the sky to his dead mother.

THE MARK
Ma! They’re killing me down here!
They did it to me again, Ma! I’m
comin’ to you soon, Ma, and I’m
gonna take a bunch of these
motherfuckers with me.

EXT. CHICAGO’S FAMOUS MAXWELL STREET - NIGHT

A busy street. It's the home of Chicago Blues. An old Urban
blues number like Jimmy Reed’ " Any Way You Want Me to Go"
plays from inside a record store with the door open.

Roxanne, Mick, and Freddy stand outside a busy Jim’s Hot Dog
Stand.

FREDDY
(ordering)
Three pork chop sandwiches.

Server doles out three pork chop sandwiches in take-out
wrapping. African-American man walks past them and opens his
coat to reveal a bevy of gold chains.

MAXWELL STREET HUSTLER
Wanna buy a necklace? Necklace for
the lady?

Freddy gives the street hustler the "get lost" sign.

They eat their sandwiches leaning against an old tailor shop
window.

MICK
That was great, Freddy. I’ve never
laughed so hard.

FREDDY
(to Roxanne)
Here.

Freddy hands Roxanne a few bills.

FREDDY
(to Mick)
Did you do any good back there?

MICK
Yeah, I won a few hundred on the
side.

ROXANNE
We need a little more to stretch us
on the road for awhile. Any ideas?

FREDDY
Alright, let’s put Mick to work
right now.

Freddy starts to walk back up to the hot dog stand.

FREDDY
Three coffees.
continued...